The Journey Begins

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Welcome to my virtual journey around the coast of the UK!

Each day I’ll ‘walk’ along a path around Britain – translating my real life steps into virtual miles. As I arrive at a virtual destination I’ll use the Internet to learn the about the place and summarize it in a wee post.


NOTE: Because my latest post is inserted at the top of this blog, posts are chronologically backwards.

If you want to read from the start of the journey, or catch up on a few days you have missed, I suggest you start at the bottom and read up! The first post is Stonehaven.

Edinburgh

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Edinburgh
Day 25. 169 miles.

We have arrived in Edinburgh-the capital city of Scotland-in our virtual journey through Britain. My American neighbours sometimes get confused by the geography of Britain so I’ll do a really quick rundown.

Britain is a country that includes England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. While Britain is a unified country, in most ways Scotland is also a country. For instance, in many sporting competitions like the World Cup and Six Nations Rugby contest Scotland competes as a country. In other events like the Commonwealth Games and Olympics Britain competes as a country so Scottish athletes compete for Britain.

Confused?

Welcome to the schizophrenia that was created by the Acts of Union that joined Scotland and England. The best part is-when the union was finalized nobody wrote down the rules so we have been kind of making them up through precedence over the last 300 odd years.
Now you are all up to speed on the geography of Britain (ignoring the strange quirks like Wales not being a country, but a principality) we should prepare to potentially throw it out of the window. More of that later. At the moment, though, Scottish people have a lot of choice. They get to vote for their Member of Scottish Parliment, Member of Parliment for Britain and their European Member of Parliment for the EC (European Community). No doubt if humans find intelligent life in space, the Scots will help elect the Supreme Leader of of the Universe. I suggest we don’t vote for the Romulan candidate because those guys are just plain evil.

Sticking with this theme our first stop in Edinburgh is the Scottish Parliment building in the region of Edinburgh called Holyrood. Since 1978 Scotland has enjoyed a limited devolution through its own parliment that can enact and enforce laws where the power to do so is not explicitly reserved for the British parliment. For instance, the Scottish parliment can’t raise an army and march south to occupy Newcastle and drink all of their beer. Yet.

Strangely enough, one of the powers the Scottish parliment does have is to hold a referendum to ask the Scots whether they want to fully devolve and become their own independent country. So once Alex Salmon of the Scottish National Party was voted into office in 2011, he promptly ordered just such a referendum. The British parliment agreed to make this binding, so if a majority of people living in Scotland vote “yes” to the question “should Scotland be an independent country?”, negotiations will start to make that happen.

We don’t get to vote, of course, unless you are a resident of Scotland in which case make sure you do – on 18 September, 2014. Since I emigrated to the USA in 1997, that leaves me without a voice in whether I’ll need to convert my UK passport to a Scottish one in a nice blue colour. Since I don’t get to vote I’ll keep my opinion of which way I’d go to myself. I am interested in how you would vote though. Just drop a comment in this post.

There is a lot more to Edinburgh than this little dabble through local politics, of course, and -in fact- we could spend all day virtually wandering through the parliment building marvelling at the huge overspend in building it. It opened 3 years late and cost £414,000,000 – a staggering sum for a building to represent less than 6,000,000 people.

In the 8,500 years since people started to settle on this patch of land, Edinburgh has been growing in population but not always in size. Because the city was constrained by geography. It was bound by sea on one side and swampland, hills, lochs (like the Nor Loch which is now Princes Street Gardens) and other barriers all around. As such, the inhabitants built upwards – the 11 story buildings constructed in the 1600’s were the world’ first skyscrapers. Let’s pause and think about that. 11 stories in the 1600’s. That must have seemed like one of the modern wonders of the world.

The townsfolk built downwards too and created an underground city for those folks who were unfortunate enough not to be able to afford penthouse suites. And think about the other effects of this overpopulation. Trust me, if you lived in Edinburgh a few hundred years ago, you wanted to be in the sky above the muck and mire generated by so many people and their animals, not living in the squalid streets or – even worse – below them. In fact at this time the stench was so appalling the city was nicknamed Auld Reekie. The name comes not just from the smell of so many unwashed humans and their waste. the atmosphere was also tainted by thousands of lums (a Scottish word for chimneys) pouring smoke as fast as they could. Some of these chimneys belonged to the city’s many whisky distilleries so we will forgive them.

Looking around at the beautiful architecture and breathing Edinburgh’s clean air today, we can see that those days are far in the past. The more modern nickname for Edinburgh (because of its many fine examples of new-classical architecture) is the ‘Athens of the North’. These days the city is a fantastically modern and cosmopolitan city where I lived for 7 happy years. And in that time I just scratched the surface of the variety the city has to offer. Many of the buildings, though, are still stained black from those sooty days of yore.
There is no way we can do justice to Edinburgh just staying here one day to describe it so we decide to spend a few days here as a rest on our virtual journey. We’ll explore more of Edinburgh tomorrow. How does that sound?

(South) Queensferry

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(South) Queensferry
Day 24.  157.9 miles

If we were told we’d landed up in a town in Scotland with an excellent brass band and asked Mr. Google where we were he’d look askance and offer us dozens of names. If we narrowed it down by saying the town is also the home of the Loony Dook and Burry Man he’d immediately send us information about The Ferry (as locals call it). The Ferry is short for Queensferry. Properly, Queensferry is called South Queensferry to distinguish it from North Queensferry.

Now let’s dig deeper into Queensferry culture.

The brass band needs no explanation. They hold a spring concert, a Christmas pageant and play at the Ferry Fair.

Hang on, I hear you retort, you never mentioned the Ferry Fair. Oops. It’s an annual gala centering on floats, music, the crowning of the Ferry Fair Queen and, of course, that burry man.

What? Another retort? You want to get to know the burry man better? OK, then. Just don’t get to close to him because the burry man is clothed head to toe in cloth that is covered in burrs. They are those annoying spikey seeds that stick to clothing when you find yourself wandering through the countryside. As we know, once attached they are almost impossible to remove. 

The burry man is so covered in the obnoxious things that he cannot really walk around. He must be content with tottering from place to place threatening folks with his annoying costume. He has two eye holes and a mouth hole. His strange gait isn’t helped by the fact that he gets regular doses of whisky through a straw.

The tradition goes so far back-300 years-that nobody can remember why it started but I’m leaning towards a drunken bet.

Talking of which, how else would the idea of dressing up in fancy dress and jumping into unto the North Sea in the middle of winter come about? This is the Loony Dook. It roughly translates as “insane plunge into freezing water” and it’s done en mass on New Year’s Day.

Brrrrrrr!

And the Queen for which the town is named? Not just a queen! Saint Margaret of Scotland established a ferry here for pilgrims to St. Andrews. The exact timing is unknown but it must have been before 1093 when she died.

There was still a ferry running from here to Fife until 1964, and there are still ferries to the islands in the Firth of Forth.

Having learned about the strange wee traditions in The Ferry let’s start on the journey towards Edinburgh.

Bo’Ness

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Bo’Ness
Day 22.157.9 miles.

Bo’Ness is a shortened form of the real name of the town-Borrowstounness. I can see why the Bo’Nessies shortened it. The full town name is quite a mouthfull. Why Bo’Ness though? Why not Bo’Stone (pronounced Boston) or Borston (pronounced Boston) or Borrowness (pronounced Boston)? Or just plain Bones?

Bo’Ness (not pronounced Boston) is notable as being the eastern end of the Antoine Wall. This was one of the two walls built by the Romans to keep Northern Britons in Northern Britain and stop them coming south to cause trouble. The Romans had planned an invasion of Scotland and built a fort to house 12,000 soldiers but gave the notion up after constant harassment from those troublesome Picts. At times they couldn’t round up peasants to obtain slave labour without a mob of blue painted savages in kilts hitting them with swords.

As such, Roman artifacts turn up here on a regular basis including, it is said, some of the stone used to build the local mansion house which used to be part of a Roman fortlet. Apparently a fortlet is a fort that is yet to grow up. Early recycling!

In more modern times (but still a while ago), James Watt built a prototype steam engine in a house that is still standing here. But the neighbours no longer complain about the noise.

The town’s library was half funded by the Scottish robber-baron-philanthropist; Andrew Carnegie. However, the time capsule sealed under the building did not contain any artifacts attributable to him. £5,000 was a lot of money back then but not, apparently, enough to get your name in a buried pickle jar.

One of the more interesting industries here was clay mining. Really? You have to mine the stuff?

Finally, Bo’Ness was another shipbreaking yard. We get a bit more colour in the description here; the ships were run aground on the city streets at full speed to create a kind of cheap dry dock. As soon as the ship came to rest, the crew would weigh it’s anchors to keep it in place.
That spectacular sight Is in the past now, but we can imagine the sight of ships screaming up the beach towards us as we push off towards Queensferry.

Grangemouth

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Grangemouth
Day 20. 147.2 miles.

We continue our fun little virtual journey in Grangemouth – at the mouth if the Grange Burn. An appropriate enough name until we learn that the Grange Burn actually flowed into the River Carroll and not directly into the sea- so the only water with a mouth here  is the Carron. And why – we wonder – are people living here in Grangemouth referred to as Portonians.

Grangemouth put the Granhe burn to great use. Because this was the town where the Forth and Clyde canal connected through a man made lock to the North Sea  – making it ideal for trade. In fact the workers who built the town for this purpose named the settlement Sealock but this name was never officially accepted. The docks were enlarged by hand to allow Scandinavian ships to offload timber to be floated a mile up the canal to eagerly awaiting sawmills. This was just one of the goods exported and imported here in Grangemouth. Strangely though the nearest Customs House – a building essential to International trade-was three miles away so ship’s captains had to transport their cargoes over land to register them and pay duties.

A customs house was eventually built and Grangemouth kept widening and deepening it’s port and canal so nowadays it is still one of the busiest ports in Britain. These days, though, motorways have replaced the canal as the next stop for imported goods.
Oil refining is now the largest industry here outside shipping after Grangemouth’s impressive soap factory was shut down and cleaned out. This isvery much a heavily industrial town-nota classic tourist destinatoon. Especially since all of the original town buildings have been demolished. A series of town ‘planners’ basically gutted the town leaving nothing but modern buildings, shipping containers and the belching refinery.

We sadly think of all the history that has been destroyed here, but we’re happy the town still thrives. Looking at the canal and dreaming of others embarking on long journeys we make our way towards Bo’Ness.

Skinflats

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Skinflats
Day 20. 142.5 miles.

Here we are in Skinflats-a wee village with a population under 400 at last count (in the 2001 census). The origin of Skinflat’s wonderful name is in dispute. In fact, even the beauty of the name is disputed with more than one scholar pointing to it as the ugliest name in Scotland. For my money, it’s an interesting name that deserves better than that. Many Skinflatians believe the name was given to it by Dutch engineers who dragged the land surrounding it from the sea in the 1600’s using the skills they used to claim Holland from the North Sea. But there is no evidence of land reclamation around here, and it is also claimed that the name Skinflats can be traced back to Scots. People point out that the area is – well – flat, which could account for the second half of the name. I would point out that most of Holland is also flat. But that’s neither here nor there.

What is certain is that when Skinflats was a tiny mining town it consisted of two rows of housing, a smithy, a little school and two pubs. To those of you who ask how a tiny housing scheme could support two pubs, all I can say is welcome to Scotland, my friend!

There is a restaurant in Skinflats called the Dutch Inn. Many point to that as more evidence of the Dutch connection. I’ll let you make your own conclusion. I will point out, however, that if a bunch of engineers had decided to reclaim land in Scotland and not record it anywhere and had gone on to build a hotel there, would they name it in English? Oh, and did I mention that Skinflats is a fair way inland?

Weighing all the evidence, I think the only conclusion we can make is that it’s time to walk on towards Grangemouth.

Torryburn

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Torryburn
Day 19. 136.7 miles.

Here we are at Torryburn. And if you don’t mind we’ll take a few moments of silence and listen to the wildlife. There is a lot to hear because Torryburn is a Site of Special Scientific Interest as an esturine habitat for birds. In order to attract thousands of birds a year, there must be an excellent source of food-which is where the unfortunate Laver Spire Snails come in. And here they are. One study suggested there are 60,000 of the tasty morsels here-in every square metre of sand. Since there are an awful lot of square metres here, that’s a huge amount of them.

In case the birds that winter here just get fed up with the taste of snails (and who wouldn’t) there is a veritable buffet of other marine life to satisfy the most jaded of palates; cockles, mussels, periwinkles and tellins (whatever they are). In the many rock pools discerning birds can find a multitude of wee fish like butterfish and gobies as well as tasty sea anemones, shrimp and crabs. Finally, if the bird has a day off meat it can choose from such salad items as Sea Aster,  Thrift, eelgrss (which is rare elsewhere so worth the journey if you like that sort of thing) and the wonderfully named Scurvy Grass.

Which birds take advantage of this nutrient rich paradise? On a good day we can virtually see great crested grebes, sandwich terns, ringed plovers, curlews, wigeons, redshanks, ruffs and dunlins. Now that’s some nice diversity! What a great list of names.

After the excitement of the previous few Fife towns it’s nice to have taken a moment to enjoy the wildlife in Torryburn. But now it’s time to wander ever onwards towards Skinflats.

Dalgety Bay

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Dalgety Bay
Day 17.130.2 miles

Here we are in Dalgety Bay. We are virtually in a fairly new town (founded in 1962) that serves as a dormitory town for Edinburgh. It has a lovely beach. We won’t go there. The town regularly wins the Best Kept Small Town award. Stay away from the beach, though.

Why are we avoiding the beach? Because before it was a town, the land around here was a military aircraft repair shop. The parts that were too far gone were just thrown into a large pit in the beach, apparently. Gone and forgotten.

Anyone that has ever thrown a sofa into the ocean and watched how fast it disintegrates (something that counts as entertainment when growing up in a small coastal town) knows that the sea is relentless. It loves to erode rock and move sand around. So every so often-quite frequently in fact-one of the discarded aircraft parts pops up on the beach. Most of these relics are benign but some are downright dangerous. I see what you’re thinking.

Unexploded bombs.

Don’t worry. Nobody in their right mind would bury a bunch of live bombs in a beach. As far as we know there is nothing explosive lurking here; no live ordinance waiting to pop up after a freak wave and lure some unsuspecting kid into taking it home.

What could be so hazardous, then? During World War II, aircraft had dials that glowed in the dark because they were cleverly painted with radium. Lots of them. And many of them broke during action and were thrown into the ‘waste disposal pit’ in vast quantities. Enough of them, in fact, to raise the background radiation for the whole area. They keep on coming back to haunt us and they will be radioactive for a few thousand years. 

And that is why along with being a Best Kept Small Town, Dalgety Bay was the first ever place in the UK to be designated as an area of radioactive contaminated land. The Best Kept Town with the Worst Kept Secret. There are over 2,500 radioactive hotspots in a small area of land. The government has proposed fencing the Best Kept Beach in to keep the public out, and also considered covering the whole area with lashings of ugly concrete. A twelve foot high barbed wire fence festooned with ‘Danger-Keep Out’ signs around a huge concrete mound that glows in the dark? I’m not sure that would help Dalgety Bay get any future awards. 

One more thing. That relentless sea? It loves to erode concrete. It wouldn’t be long before dials suddenly started appearing along the concrete beach again.

I think we’ve spent as much time here as we are comfortable with. Checking ourselves to see if we have acquired a healthy green glow, let’s hot foot it out of Dalgety Bay towards Torryburn.

Inverkeithing

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Inverkeithing
Day 17.  122.4 miles

I am sure you recall our discussion about Burntisland-the great shipbuilding town the place that gave birth and berth to ships. But what happens to ships when they are past their useful life? Many of them come to Inverkeithing to die. Because Inverkeithing-right by Burntisland-is a shipbreaking yard!

The list of ships reduced to scrap from the yard is impressive in a somewhat maudlin sort of way and includes the M. V. Brittany III; the largest motor cruiser in the world at the time. I did not find whether any of the ships built in Burntisland met their end here.

The number III features again in Inverkeithing history. King Alexander III was last seen here before he fell off his horse and plunged down a cliff or embankment. He died on impact. It’s not reported what happened to the horse, but we don’t fancy it’s chances.

There was a famous battle here-inventively called the Battle of Inverkeithing. Look for the number 3 again. It was part of the Third English Civil War, and the last major battle of the Wars of the Three Kingdoms. The loser by a huge margin was one of the King Charles. The Third-I’m sure you guess. Unfortunately not. Just the Second.

Shipbreaking, king killing, battle losing. Three things we don’t want to linger around.  Let’s get out of here and hasten towards nearby Dalgety Bay.

Burntisland

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Burntisland
Day 16.  114.1 miles

After a wee walk we find ourselves in a town called Burntisland.

We got a long way on the 16th day of our trek. This is the fourth town we have virtually visited today.

Burntisland. What a marvellous name! We expect to find a scorched island like Brigadoon rising not from mist but from smoke produced by a constantly burning fire. Our appetites are further whetted to learn that the town lies close to a volcanic plug called ‘The Binns’. Could the settlement suffer from regular volcanic eruptions? Will we see rivers of fiery magma running through the streets, with apologetic signs warning us of this week’s road diversion?

Alas, not only is the town not on an island, but it doesn’t even look singed. When we learn that the town got its name in 1586 we conclude that the fire probably burned out a few years ago. Curious about the ‘island’ part of the name, we dig deeper and learn that it probably originates from some fishermen’s huts on an adjacent island that did indeed dissappear in a conflagration. The island, by the way, is fully landlocked now since it was built up into part of the town’s docks.

And just to keep you fully informed, none of the volcanoes in the UK are active as far as I know so unfotunately we can dismiss thoughts of magma flowing across the country from now on. What a pity.

The history of Burntisland is one of shipping. Not only was it one of the premier ports in the country way back in the 1600’s but it was important as a shipbuilding centre. In fact one of the barges built here called, ironically, the Blessing of Burntisland sank in 1633 taking King Charles I's treasure with it to its watery grave.

You would think that would stop the shipbuilding trade there but apparently the King didn’t blame bad construction because Burntisland kept building the things no doubt hoping that a wee sinking here and there was just part of everyday life in a shipyard. If we ever walk along the coast of Ireland remind me to find out whether Belfast continued to build ships after the Titanic.

Continuing on the shipping theme Burntisland was the site of the world's first Roll On Roll Off ferry.Thus was back in 1850 so it was horse drawn carts that it carried. No doubt it also carried a bunch of shovels and staff who knew how to use them, and not just for the coal to keep the engines running.

The government did not ignore the local penchant for shipbuilding and Burntisland was used as an emergency shipyard to build cargo ships during World War I. This yard outlived the carnage of that conflict and was producing it's own type of ships dubbed the Burntisland Economy in 1929. Because of its cheap running costs the ships were still built through the depression. Burntisland-Home of the First Attempt to Curb Global Warming could therefore be etched on the gates of the Town Hall.It’s not, of course. Another lost opportunity.

However, the same yard was used to build ships for World War II. A handy place to have if you are a government in conflict.

Shipbuilding is a lost art in much of the UK now and Burntisland’s shipyard no longer builds ships. The good news, though, is that instead it fabricates modules for North Sea oil rigs, so there’s still some marine engineering going on here.

One last shred of information about this town. It was here that the first lobbying to create the King James version of the Bible started-before this only Latin translations were available in a country where almost no-one spoke the long dead language,

Like all the places we visit this is just a wee taste of a town that offers so much more. We have to keep on roving. Today it’s off to Inverkeithing.